Four plastic crates. A roll mat. Two dust sheets. Two cuts of grey carpet. A spade. A floor mop. A hoover box. Christmas decorations (various). Two hoovers. DVDS (n=74). A brown leather satchel. An old diary. A bowling bag. Ronseal. A chest of drawers. Two lamp shades. Two kilner jars. An empty Techniques box. A George Foreman Grill. Paint samples. Spare room paint. Dining room paint. Sellotape. Dismantled shelves. Disk lock. Gardening gloves. That fucking pouffe. A bag of bags. A bag of pegs. Hair clippers. A dehumidifier. A disposable barbecue. Five clothes airers—tangled.

Will Mason