I caught the sads one evening, even though everything was more on the up than it had been in a while. and I couldn't get out unless they thought I'd gone looking for you. I really didn't want to go looking— I wanted to go outside for some air and then to the toilet twice. It's nonsense, isn't it? How you can be so put about by the absence of a thing even though everything was so fine before it ever occurred. Paradise—parking lots—yada yada. It's not a competition about who cares the least but it is, sort of, a competition about who cares the least.